"While what is depicted in the images may initially
appear, to the untrained eye, to be some kind of mock-up that someone cobbled
together in their backyard to make fun of NASA, I can assure you that it is
actually an extremely high-tech manned spacecraft capable of landing on the
surface of the Moon. And incredibly enough, it was also capable of blasting off
from the Moon and flying 69 miles back up into lunar orbit! Though not
immediately apparent, it is actually a two-stage craft, the lower half (the part
that looks like a tubular aluminum framework covered with Mylar and old
Christmas wrapping paper) being the descent stage, and the upper half
(the part that looks as though it was cobbled together from old air conditioning
ductwork and is primarily held together, as can be seen in the close-up, with
zippers and gold tape) being the ascent stage.
The upper half, of course, is the more sophisticated
portion, being capable of lifting off and flying with enough power to break free
of the Moon’s gravity and reach lunar orbit. It also, of course, possessed
sophisticated enough navigational capabilities for it to locate, literally out
in the middle of fucking nowhere, the command module that it had to dock with in
order to get the astronauts safely back to Earth. It also had to catch that
command module, which was orbiting the Moon at a leisurely 4,000 miles per
hour.
But we’ll get to all that a little later. I think
we can all agree for now that such a sleek, stylish, well-designed craft would
have no problem flying with that kind of power, precision and stability"
If you need a goof laff this genius is from Dave Gorman's brilliant roast of the Apollo programme... I suggest y'all get yourselves down for a feast of complicity central and learn to believe your own eyes again just go here, you'll get lost for weeks...
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